first kiss last time
by elrenda-chan
Summary: Sakura reallt wants to tell Sasuke something


Sakura took a deep breath. She walked up the path that lead to the Uchiha household. It was their day off, and she knew Sasuke would be home, training. How did she know he'd be there and not somewhere else? Simple. It was raining.

She held her umbrella close to her, wanting to speed up and get to the porch but afraid she'd run away instead of running up there. It had taken a lot of mental convincing on Inner Sakura's part to get her this far, but she didn't put it past herself to back out now. So she stuck with walking, albeit a fast walk.

When she finally did reach the porch and out of the rain, she hesitated. Could she really do this? It was big step for her, and she wasn't sure if it was really what she wanted. Okay, that was lie, she did want this, at least part of her did. It was moving forward, but it also meant letting go of the past, the very same past she had clung to for years. She sighed and looked at the door before her. Could she do this?

She step forward and knocked on the door.

Nothing. Not even the clichéd echoing of a knock that seemed to plague big old houses like these. Slightly annoyed by this, she knocked again, only louder. Still nothing. If this continued she'd end up banging the door off its hinges! She tried once more, only slightly louder (okay, it was just a shade beneath banging), when she finally heard a muffled voice.

The door opened.

Sakura was greeted by a stoic-as-ever Sasuke, except for one thing. He was in a T-shirt and blue pajama bottoms. She had woken him up. Without thinking, she automatically said what came to her mind (Curse of Inner Sakura, she had dubbed it).

"Shouldn't you be training?" Sakura could've smacked herself right then. Smooth, she told herself, real smooth. Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

"Even I have to sleep, despite what the dobe says," he replied nonchalantly. "What do you want?"

A million thoughts ran through her mind, from 'He actually spoke to me!' to 'What do I say now!' and everything in between. She bit her lip as she quickly thought of what to say.

"Can I come inside? It is raining out," she said. Okay, so it wasn't the best thing in the world, but considering dumbfounded mind, it wasn't all that bad.

"Hn," came the signature reply. Sasuke stepped aside, letting her in. He shut the door behind her, and repeated his question. "What do you want?"

"Must I always want something from you!" Inner Sakura snapped aloud before Sakura could stop herself. Sasuke appeared surprised for a moment, but then gave her a 'duh' look. "Right, I usually do, I deserve that."

"Hn," he replied.

"And I do want something... I want to talk to you," she said shyly. "But I disturbed you, so I'll just leave," she started towards the door, but he held his arm out in front of her, stopping her.

"What do you want to talk about?" Sakura bit her lip again, and glanced at her hand. It was shaking.

"Would a cup of tea be too much to ask for first?" she asked, giving a half-pleading look. He said and left, motioning for her to follow.

----------

"Mmm, that's better," Sakura said as she took the first sip of the hot tea. Sasuke was standing nearby, leaning on a counter, a similar cup of tea in his hand. He stared at it waiting for Sakura to speak. She sighed, and began.

"I've come to tell you goodbye..." she said. It wasn't the greatest opening line, but all previous preparations left her mind and she was playing it by ear. Sasuke looked up at her sharply. "... and hello."

It was probably the first and last time she'd ever see Sasuke with a confused look. She tried not to automatically memorize it, like she had done with everything else that involved the boy. She thought of what to say next. Finally, she just ended up letting words come of their own accord.

"I'm saying goodbye to you as a love interest, and hello to you as a friend. I've realized, I guess you could say, that I can't be anything more. I won't kid myself into thinking I still don't like you. I do. But nothing will ever come of it, and I have to accept that. It'll take a while, and it'll hurt, but I know I will get over it someday. I just wanted to tell you that I won't be bothering you like I have any more. And I'm sorry..."

"What for?" he asked abruptly, then shutting his mouth just as quickly. Apparently he hadn't meant to ask, but she answered him anyway.

"Well, now you'll have to think of a new reason to hate me," she told him, amazed at how cheerfulness and bitterness both managed to come through loud and clear. He looked up, almost startled at what she had said.

"I've never hated you..." he said, almost a whisper. She felt bad. She hadn't meant it to sound entirely like it had.

"I know, I'm just trying to justify things in my own mind," she replied, sighing as she did.

She took another sip of her tea as silence descended upon the room. It was getting next to unbearable. Racking her brain for something to say, she didn't notice Sasuke moving until he literally appeared in the chair across the corner from her. He didn't say anything at first, and she could tell he was debating whether or not to say anything at all. Finally, though, he did.

"I'm the one that should be sorry," he said. She started to protest, but he cut her off. "No, let me finish. I never meant to hurt you, but I didn't want to lead you on, either. It seems I still managed to accomplish both. I'm sorry I don't feel for you like you want-- wanted-- me to, but I just don't. At least... Not to give you false hope, but at least not now. It's nothing personal," he said. Truthfully, that was the most she'd ever heard him say at once. Even so, she forced herself to overcome the shock of it and speak.

"I know, and I know of your goal. As much I as I've wanted to, I could never hold your lack of affection for me, or for anyone for that matter, against you," she said, speaking the truth. Sakura and Inner Sakura had had many battles over the subject, some of which resulted in migraines the size of Naruto and Sasuke's egos put together.

"Thank you," Sasuke whispered so softly, she wasn't quite sure he had even spoken.

Another silence descended. Sakura finished her tea, stood up, and set it in the sink. She smiled at Sasuke, and turned to leave, but stopped. It was fleeting thought, merely a fantasy, and it seemed to go back on what she had just said, but she had to ask.

"There's one more thing," she said.

"Hn?" She turned to face him, and went back to her seat. She looked up at him, trying to hide her nervousness for asking such a thing as she was about to.

"I want to give you something... And it's because you're one of the few people I can really trust. And, even if you refuse, I have to ask... It's something I can only give once, and I want you to have it--"

He cut her off. But not with words, or a gesture, or anything of the sort. He just leaned in with the speed he was known for and kissed her, gently. She returned it, after coming back to reality. It was simple, chaste, and only last a few moments, but it was everything she had dreamed about.

Those eternal onyx eyes looked into her own. A small smile graced his face, and she knew she was blushing ten shades of red. No words needed to be said. She stood and left, not hesitating once this time. Sasuke smiled inwardly as well. He finished his tea and took it to the sink.

"Goodbye... and hello," he said to himself


End file.
